bendNsnap Hello :) Jess here
i'm a dork n very clumsy
cnt help but b funny n talkative n extremely honest :)
Plus am here for any1 who needs help or jus needs 2talk
Ask me anything especially random questions! haha :) Here is where you enter text, info, about me, whatever, your page graphics, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc.

lakilester:

No one get’s lynched for exfoliating is the greatest come back I’ve ever witnessed.

tuskandtemper:

shutthefuckupcas:

shutthefuckupcas:

shutthefuckupcas:

My dad accidentally threw a cheese grater at me so I left the room and he yelled “come back here you ungrateful child” while laughing hysterically

Update my mom just told me that if I had even a ‘shred’ of decency I would go back in there

Update #2: my dad apologized and told me he had only done it for ‘the grater good’

me and the80sareforever as parents.


fangurlfandom:

idkmanlarryfeels:

lauren-elizzabeth:

jncera:

paulyoptosaurus:

savememilkboy:

penitenceball:

jackshoward:

image

WHAT

I had my volume up full blast and MY MUM THOUGHT I WAS DYING OR SOMETHING IT WAS THE FUNNINEST THING EVER AND I CAN’T BREATHE OM,G

i will keep reblogging this until it has 80000 notes

WHAT THE EVERLASTING FUCK

my volume was full blast…

i didnt have headphones in schoool and i played this and everyone started dying omfg

#omg it’s back

fvckyouanderson:

bleachdalilah:

thtwhitegurrl:

slutdust:

I bought my friend an elephant for their room.

They said “Thank you.”

I said “Don’t mention it.”

Is there a joke here that 15 thousand people get but I don’t?

PLEASE EXPLAIN

whAT

obsidian-order:

beckaford:

micahelizabeth:

  • Eat” the damn Play-doh cookies.
  • Slurp the invisible soup.
  • Pretend that they’re not causing grievous bodily harm as they “brush” your hair.
  • Always be serious when asked what you’d like for dinner, and never say something silly like rabbit soup. Because they will go get their stuffed one off the bed, put it in your best pot, and fill said pot with water. Then place it on your desk.
  • Greet their make believe friends and ask how their day was.
  • Always kiss the teddy bear goodnight. It has feelings too.
  • Always pretend to die when they shoot you.
  • If you are having a fake war with them and you shoot them and they say they can’t die because they are invincible, you don’t shoot them again, because they are invincible.
  • Yes, their drawing does look like a butterfly, not a bunch of jumbled up lines.
  • Them pounding on the piano is the best thing you have ever heard.

THISTHISTHISTHIS

no but seriously it’s very important to a child’s development to not be shut down by parents and other caregivers

once when i was little i gave my mum a bowl full of buttons and she got really into pretending it was real food. when she asked me ‘is it soup?’, i turned around, and with the most disapproving glare just went ‘no. it’s buttons’.



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